____  ____  _____ ____ ____     _  _____  _   _ ____   ___  _     _____
/ ___||  _ \| ____| __ ) ___|   | |/ / _ \| \ | / ___| / _ \| |   | ____|
\___ \| |_) |  _| |  _ \___ \   | ' / | | |  \| \___ \| | | | |   |  _|
 ___) |  __/| |___| |_) |__) |  | . \ |_| | |\  |___) | |_| | |___| |___
|____/|_|   |_____|____/____/   |_|\_\___/|_| \_|____/ \___/|_____|_____|
Date Published Spebs Yappings
28th August 2025 - 15:32 Well I got my diss back, as well as the other 2 and a half years of work. Im happy with my grade, its a grade a lot of people would like to have, but I know I could have done more, but I just didnt and I'm kicking myself over it. I've been looking for jobs but its a tough market, especially when you can't drive, I can get around on public transport fairly easily but its adding an extra 4 hours to a work day if I apply to some jobs, I still apply but I get nowhere unfortunately. Ive just been in this awful limbo where I can't get a job cus I can't drive, It extends how long I cannot drive for because I cannot make enough money and I'm stuck working at a shitty pub with 7 hours a week on average, but looking for other jobs would be a huge waste of time because I need a job using my degree. Not in a great place right now, just a little fed up.

ANYWAY cry baby shit over, god I am so sick of these reform nutters being openly racist and when somebody calls them racist its all 'but uhh what, its not racist to fly me own flag init', yeah well when its a dog whistle for other racists to intimidate minorities and foreginers in the local area, yeah it is. Seriously who hangs these up in protest to immigration, in front of their local shop which is ran by immigrants? God their idiots. If people vote for reform its genuinely over for this country, Farage is a joke, he will privitise the NHS, ruin labour and working laws and take us into an Americanised hell scape. I'd really like to respond to these losers on my estate putting these posters up which debunk their views on farage and reform, but I do not have a printer and paste to print out why they're idiots. I'd like to take them down but I'm short, they're up about 10 feet high and Im not carrying step ladders around with me and look a fool struggling to take them down.

oh yeah this is a tech blog right? lol. Well I've put a lot of my projects on hold, its not that I cant find the time, I just cant be bothered. Im not sure why but Im really struggling to manage my free time lately, I have less time on my PC and its caused this weird thing where I feel like I need to be on it all the time because its the path of least resistence. God forbid I struggle and dont have hits of dopamine, unthinkable torture! "Yes, thats just like you. Getting rid of everything unpleasant instead of learning to put up with it. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them... But you dont do either. Neither suffer nor oppose. You just abolish the slings and arrows. Its too easy!". Brave New World was kind of a hard read, but it really opened my eyes to how easy it is to make things as easy as possible, and without struggle, whats the point, there is no satisfaction in having everything the easy way all the time. Why do people insist on consuming and consuming and consuming, its unsustainable, find something else to put your nerves to rest, "oh i just need some retail therapy, tee hee" or "yeah mate they're dead cheap, might as well get them, it'd be stupid not to and i can just return them", yeah keep polluting, and bringing misery to others lives, forcing them to work in inhumane factories, 12 hours a day so you can just return it and double the pollution you bring into the world. "ooh but the planes will still fly, the cargo ships will still deliver" and thats the problem, everybody just buys buys buys because its what everybody else is doing, the only collective consciousness in society today is how important it is they get the lastest fast fashion trend, the latest mark of capatalism and status, im sure when free markets were first imagined and implemented their dream was to create labubus, temu and shein. John the Savage ends up killing himself because he is seen as a freak for not wanting a peaceful life where he depends on nobody but himself and the land.

Next on Spebs rant, WHY do people INSIST on this forced infantalization of technology, yeah you limit what we can do, make it more simple, lock down the technology I PURCHASED and that I OWN. Sure Ill hand over my ID, cant be having me listening to music that might upset the Government, "you've listened to too much anti establishment music, this is your first warning and you may not listen to System Of A Down for 24 hours", limiting where we can go and what we can say is the final goal. I always thought people that spoke like that were idiots, why would the government ever want to limit our freedoms and make us unhappy? The same reason they surveil us when we go outside, track where we drive with cameras, upload our data into a central database so our facial features can be ID'd when we go to Silverstone, or some festival, they cant have dissidence when they slowly strip away our rights one by one, instead of fixing the many many issues with the country, and people just dont care, unless it interupts their, personal, time. I've fallen down a seriously political hole and I cannot get out, and if I do, Ill go right back in because I have now seen all the injustice happening in my country, and across the world and I cant turn a blind eye to it, otherwise im part of the problem. I was just having a conversation about the protesters burning American flags on near the whitehouse, in a very safe manor might I add, are now getting a year in prison for protesting. Flag burning is even a protected action under protest, its part of their free speech (Texas vs Johnson, 1989) but their dictator is doing it anyway. Anyway my friend said its justified and I was just gob smacked, no harm done, a symbol of their unhappiness and where they fear America is headed and they get locked up for it, just madness. God I need a job, then I wont have time to get angry about all this injustice and I can be a good sheep, drive to work, work, drive home, sleep. drive to work...

I will say, just saying this does make me feel better. I saw a video on dopamine and the guy mentioned journaling, I thought it was a good idea, and then I remembered, 3 months ago I said this could be a good habit!. Oh well, I seem to use this when I need to, no point forcing it, nobody reads this anyway, and thats how I want it. I would like a second blog, not on neo cities but a proffesional one, with an RSS feed, opinions on current things in the tech world and cyber security but it seems so difficult, I'm just not a programmer and I'd hate to use wordpress or some other cringe site that does everything for you, but in the end, I probably wont do any of it, hence why I was so close to getting a first class degree, that 69.4 is really symbolic of me as a person, I am capable of great things, I really am and I am an intelligent person but I just dont try, if I tried I'd have got a first, it would have been like liberating myself from the normal people and breaking through into people who can and do go onto to do impressive things, but thats not who I am, I just dont try hard enough, I take the soma instead of confronting myself on why I am the way I am, how civilised of me. Free Palestine.
16th May 2025 - 20:43 Its been far more than a week now. 1 Month and 10 days, even more considering I never uploaded the second blog. So I handed in my diss, and went to an event to show off my poster I created for it, alongside the booklet I created for it. I'm not sure how I've done, I put a lot of time and effort into it, its just not the most technical peice of work considering other people at my uni's dissertations. Since the orginal post, I felt like updating the blog but now im writing, I have nothing to say. Now Uni is offically done, hopefully because if not it means I didnt pass, I'm enjoying some time off, not stressing over work. Im learning to drive in June, getting my first tattoo also which will be cool, its long over due. Because where I live, I need to drive in order to get a job with my degree in my home town so I dont expect to be looking until the end of the year, which is a shame but I have a fun job in the mean time, even if it isnt the most hours or money.

I'm still not sure about having a blog, I mean the website is ugly, I'd like to improve it but I'm not sure I care that much, I just hope people dont find it, its fun to have up and to dump my thoughts out, but everything stays around on the internet so I still need to be careful with what I put.

I have been watching a lot of show lately, mostly anime, I rewatched Inital D season one, im watching Death note for the first time and trying out Frieren, After Journeys End because since Delicous in Dungeon S1 ended, I felt like I needed a solid fantasy anime again. Im also watching Andor season 2, started it today, I started Mad Men and continued Mr Robot, Drive to Survive and I'm inbetween 4 books right now. I really cant keep my focus on one thing and its super frustrating, I'm not sure why I have trouble holding interest. Oh and Dexter, and Black Clover plus a ridiculous amount of other shows that I started and never finished. Oh yeah I'm looking at getting a civic for my first car, the car is a little pricey, I could get something cheaper but I've always been so responsible with money, I dont want to be for once, I just want to get something I want. I'd also like something reliable and something I can work on, even though I might not end up doing that.

There is an extremely loud, extremely annoying humming sound inside the building I live in right now and its super annoying I cannot think at all.

I'm not sure if I am scared of the future now I'm done with uni, or excited, I want to drive, I'm looking forward to my Holiday and summer, I can finally spend time with friends in my home town. Its weird I kind of feel like a dead beat not looking for a job right now, like im just prolonging the inevitable. When I get moved out of my accomodation I'll feel better I think. I'd like to move far away (cliche?) and get a job else where but thats super unlikely. The sound has just stopped, thank god. I'd like to find a place to play DnD again once I move back home, I miss it after it ended back in March, and get serious into sim racing again after not being able to in my small flat, as well as do some electronics, I'm thinking a Pwnagotchi, and I wanna run my own PiHole and create a little retro game emulator, these will hopefully keep me busy over Summer, I am really looking forward to Summer for once, hopefully I can drive before it ends, and I also need to find a way to make up for not doing anything for my 21st birthday sometime this year, I'll try find some ideas, I'm thinking glamping, or just camping, its cheaper, probably up in Scotland when I can drive. Anyway I have seriously rambeled on and I wanna finish this episode of Death Note. Hopefully I update this blog more often, feels like a good habit.
6th April 2025 - 8pm Been a week since I first wrote a post, I've made a lot of progress on my diss. Got about 60 responses on the survey in about a week, very cool, and have done about 16 pages on my privacy booklet. I'd say its about half way done. I'm going on holiday on the 8th so when I get back on the 16th I gotta lock in hard. I still have all the write up to do but it should be a few days of hard work and we are good. I wont upload this straight away, gotta be a quick one cus my laptop is low on power. Had some struggle with Linux as well recently, I'l go into detail about that soon, on the next post. Hopefully not a week away.
31st March 2025 - 00:49 I've had this website since January I think? I didn't bother making the blog page until today. I wasn't sure how to structure it, I couldn't be bother to do link after link after link, sorting through Year, Month, Date. Also nobody would bother to actually sort through all that so this is the best way to get my thoughts seen, a table, like its 2007 again, everything is tables. I was semi inspried by Cory Doctorow's link site Pluralistic.net, although I doubt it will look that nice. I wanted to use his font but it's paid for, and I was struggling to add Lucon, so I went to google fonts and found the next best thing, Sometype Mono.

Anyway. I have almost exact one month until my final year in Uni is done, its so scary. I'm way behind on my dissertation because my advisor didn't respond to my emails and I'm expected to get 100 participants in a month, get feedback, analyse and then write it up. It's do able but man I wish I could have been on top of it. For once I was trying to be, but my advisor just wasnt playing ball. I was supposed to be doing my Lit review, or my methodology write up, only about 2k words each but I just can't bring myself to do it, I'm a bit too nervous to face it right now, but at least my questionnaire is done. Might post that here when it's ready, unlikely to get any responses from here but it'd be cool if I did. I keep wanting to stop typing because I'm rambling but thats what a blog is, right?

I do wish I was better at web dev, I'd love to make a cool, retro CLI website. I hate CSS, its boring, too finicky. Maybe I'll learn some more advanced web dev tools, doubt it. I've been watching a bunch of stuff on 3D printers, I'd love one but I should really learn to drive first, get a car, focus on getting a job using my degree, and I'm cheap. I want a Banbu Labs A1, even if they are propritary (cringe) it just seems super friendly, and 3D printing is a little more involved than I thought, and than what the name suggests. I'd also love to get back into WoW but its too much of a time sync, NEED to focus on my diss (the irony). I've been regularing a cool forum called RejectConvinence, its owner, a youtuber by the same name, has a lot to say about dumb phones, I'm all for cool, privacy respecting tech but not having a smart phone is a step too far, but it's a cool place to find websites, tech news, other stuff, I just wish it had a larger fan base. Add me on there, Speb, I have the Data profile picture, seemed fitting for an old bulletin board style website. I think I'm done writing, just wanted to finally get a blog post out, I'll get a link for my survey out on here, post it on that same forum also I think. Im not sure how I'd react if somebody I knew found this, they know this is my nick name, I think I'd be embarrassed being open because its not who I am. Probably gonna go read Walkaway, new Doctorow book, I'm a little obsessed with him right now lol. Oh also I'll get some privacy tools up on my resources page soon enough, I have got quite a collection for my diss. GOD now i gotta go clean this table up with some CSS. I hate CSS. :P